Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I want my life back!!!

I have been in my current long term sub position now for about 6 1/2 weeks. I want my old life back!!! Seriously! I hate my schedule . To make things more complicated, baseball season has just begun. I am running from 6:00 am until well after 9:00 pm . I have no time for anything. I squeeze laundry in here and there and my OCD has prevented me from getting to bed early. I spend much of what used to be my creative time...... cleaning. I have become resentful and bitter about this entire arrangement. Thank God there is an end in sight .... summer vacation. I have never been so happy to have summer begin.

I miss my art. I liked that I could define myself as an artist. It was something for me ..... it made me a person in the midst of my life as a mother and wife. If I was not working on my art , I was thinking about my art and future projects. Currently I can think of nothing but sleep.

I want those quiet moments when I could hear myself think..... now honestly , I do not think at all.... I am in go mode all the time.

This weekend is packed with Baseball, work, Birthday parties and more. Even if it kills me, I am going to squeeze in time to create...... I fear my mind will turn to mush if I do not.

Hopefully the glimpse of the old me will be back soon!!!

Courtney

3 comments:

CDScott said...

Hey CP...I am sorry to hear that things are going this way. But there is an end to it and what a good, TEMPORARY way to figure out what you DON'T want. Only 60 days and 39 school days left til summer!!!! Hang in there! Now you know your answer about next year, right?

The Vintage Sister said...

Hey, did you get your copy of Artful Blogging today???

The Vintage Sister said...

me again...our banners are on the same page. I thought it was funny:)
they send you a free copy so you should get it soon. Congrats!!