I have been in my current long term sub position now for about 6 1/2 weeks. I want my old life back!!! Seriously! I hate my schedule . To make things more complicated, baseball season has just begun. I am running from 6:00 am until well after 9:00 pm . I have no time for anything. I squeeze laundry in here and there and my OCD has prevented me from getting to bed early. I spend much of what used to be my creative time...... cleaning. I have become resentful and bitter about this entire arrangement. Thank God there is an end in sight .... summer vacation. I have never been so happy to have summer begin.
I miss my art. I liked that I could define myself as an artist. It was something for me ..... it made me a person in the midst of my life as a mother and wife. If I was not working on my art , I was thinking about my art and future projects. Currently I can think of nothing but sleep.
I want those quiet moments when I could hear myself think..... now honestly , I do not think at all.... I am in go mode all the time.
This weekend is packed with Baseball, work, Birthday parties and more. Even if it kills me, I am going to squeeze in time to create...... I fear my mind will turn to mush if I do not.
Hopefully the glimpse of the old me will be back soon!!!